i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
