So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize