You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
