He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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