Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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