is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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