theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
