i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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