Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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