Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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