do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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