I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
