we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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