think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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