i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
