Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
