Hey man sorry I got all grabby
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
