i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How naked do you want me to be?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
