1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
