She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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