Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
