well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
