haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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