Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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