i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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