I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
