idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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