Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
