i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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