this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
