I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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