remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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