How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
