"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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