and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize