we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize