We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize