You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
