Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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