It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
