so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize