You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
