Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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