OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
