she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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