it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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