Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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