Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
