Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
