This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
