New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
where are you?
Hypothermia
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
