Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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