Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
