just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i now understand why vodka
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
