Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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