maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wish you could order shots online.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize