"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
