just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
