We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
