Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
