I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
3pm strippers are depressing
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Randomize
