I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
