Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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