It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize