i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
