I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
